Lost and Found
by PoppyKattalakis
Summary: Two years ago, Maximum Ride lost her flock and believed them to be dead.They have come back for her, but she has changed. Is she still Max? Can they fix her although she is broken? Now Max wants justice, but how far will she go to conquer her fears?
1. Chapter One

Chapter one

I had the dream again. It was the same reoccurring dream that has haunted me since the accident two years ago. The accident that stole from me everything I held dear. Now my life was meaningless, useless.

I no longer wore chains. These people were finally realizing I wasn't going to run from them. I had nowhere to go, no one to go to. Never in my life have I felt more alone.

For awhile they tried to get me to talk. I barely ate, I didn't sleep unless they drugged me.

I was not who I used to be. I was not sarcastic and witty and strong. When I looked in the mirror I saw a stranger. I was no longer the indestructible Maximum Ride. People used to look at me with envy, they saw the future, they saw promise. Now they look at me with pity, with disappointment, and I can hear them whisper of my retirement.

But honestly, that is what I want. Maybe I can see them again, feel them. Maybe, if there is a heaven I will see them all. I can hear Angel's singing, Nudge's constant chatter, I can watch Iggy and Gassy planning to blow something up. Maybe with all the clouds in heaven, Iggy will be able to see. And I can see Fang, with his rare smiles that make my world a bit brighter.

I had to finally accept that they are gone…dead. We were in mid-air, battling for our lives against Flyboys—the usual. I still don't know, not even now, what went wrong. But I was forced to watch my entire team fly to their death in the forest below. And I couldn't hold my own in a fight against so many, especially after what I had witnessed. So I was captured. My Flock didn't even get a proper burial.

For days I screamed and screamed until they put a gag on me. I clawed at my own flesh, disfigured my skin until the put me in a straightjacket. They drugged me, but I continued to ram myself into the walls. I was put into a padded room.

After a month of me just lying in one spot, fading in and out of consciousness, I crawled into a little corner of my mind, and shielded myself from everything. This was even worse than one of those isolation tanks I'd experienced once. Not only were the lights to bright, the sounds too loud, and the padded floor to painful, but I had the torrent of agony constantly ripping through my mind. When I slept, I found no relief, having to face reoccurring nightmares.

As I carefully chewed the last of my food, not even sure what it was—I could not taste it—I heard yelling outside, and gunshots. I moaned and went into the far corner of my little room, and put my hands over my ears in a weak attempt to block out the noise.

"She's in here" I heard someone whisper.

_No! No! No! Don't come after me. Leave me alone. Let me die. _

My door opened and someone came toward me.

"Oh my God, look at her. What did they do to her?" _Leave me be. Don't touch me. Go away. Let me suffer in peace._

"_Max."_

_The voice sounded familiar, perhaps a bit huskier. I looked up._

_Fang._


	2. Chapter Two

_Chapter Two_

This was another of my dreams, the ones where my Flock was still alive, and when I got all warm and fuzzy, I woke up, and the pain I felt was worse than ever before. So when the illusion that looked like Fang asked me to get up, I only stared at him.

Usually in these dreams I see Fang as he looked at fourteen—the age he died at. But I suppose my imagination has begun to evolved, because here he was in my dream, sixteen years old. You could tell that he had to shave now on his face. He died his hair a jet black, though he kept it short and left bangs cover one eye, just as he use to. He wasn't as gangly as he was at fourteen; I could see visible and well-defined muscles across his arms and chest, which was covered with a tight black shirt.

The dream-Fang tried to pick me up now, with the obvious intention to take me out of my padded room. I couldn't let him do that. I couldn't suffer with any worse pain than I was already having to.

"No" I whispered, my voice cracked from not being used in two years.

He looked questioningly at me.

"If you take me out of here, and make me happy and content, it will hurt so much worse than it already does when I wake up" I explained to my dream-Fang.

"This is not a dream" he said quietly. "We've come to get you. I promise." I heard a hint of sadness in is voice, suffering, that he covered up with the hard mask I he used to use.

I looked longingly at him. I honestly wanted to believe him, but this had happened before. I had been able to withstand the pain before, but I was so close to breaking that I could not possibly survive this blow.

"Look" he said. "I promise I won't try to make you happy and content until you believe that I am not a dream, okay? Just let me get you out of here before more guards come. I will explain everything. Please?"

So I took a chance. After all, if it truly is a dream, I don't expect to survive the next hit. So the sooner I can get to heaven to see them again, the better.

I nodded once to Fang, and he scooped me up gently into his arms and ran out the door.


	3. Chapter Three

I didn't understand much of what was going on. I heard yelling and more gunshots, which hurt my ears to the point of whimpering. Dream-Fang looked at me, surprised by my weakness. I was silent after that.

Then suddenly I was surrounded by utter darkness. And it was bitter cold. It took a minute to register that I was outside. I closed my eyes, refusing to see more than was necessary. The more I saw, the more it would hurt when I awoke. Then the long forgotten feelings of flight overcome me. And despite my better judgment, I opened my eyes. Dream-Fang was still cradling me in his arms, but I was confused by the rush of air on my face. Then I looked down and saw the ground, thousands of feet below. Impossible! How could Fang be carrying me, and flying? I weighed at least a hundred pounds!

He smiled tentatively at me.

"Still think you're dreaming?"

I nodded silently. Then I saw silhouettes of others around us.

"What is that?" I whispered, indicating the closest to us.

"That would be Nudge, Max. The rest of the Flock is here."

"No. you're all dead" I responded, my voice cracking at the last word. Somehow saying the word 'dead' made it more absolute.

"No, the trees caught us when we fell and softened our fall. We almost died, but there was a forest ranger nearby, and her and her daughter read my blog, so they knew who we were."

I shook my head and refused to believe that this was _not_ a dream.

An unspoken question filled my head, but I bit my tongue.

_If this wasn't a dream, if this was real, then why did it take TWO YEARS for them to come and get me?_

I closed my eyes the entire trip. I attempted to forget that I was thousands of feet above the ground and Fang was cradling me in his arms. There was a part of me, a big part, which was struggling to wake up. But then there was a little voice in the back of my head, hoping that this was not a dream. And no matter how hard I tried, that little voice could not be silenced. It kept getting louder and louder until it filled my head and I could hear nothing else. My eyes flashed open at once.

I immediately regretted it, because there was a blinding light.

_I'm dead_ was my first thought. But as my vision began to regain some focus, I saw that I was staring at a florescent bulb. I knew I was back in my cell. But when I looked about I saw that the walls weren't padded. _Did they transfer me while I slept?_ This room looked like a normal small bedroom. I was covered with an old cloth that looked strangely familiar. To be honest, this room looked awfully familiar. 

Then it hit me. This was Dr. Martinez's room. My mother and half sister Ella had died, two years ago, just before my Flock died. No matter what police reports had confirmed, I knew their death was unnatural. That was my flock's mission—to find the truth—when they had been killed as well.

But why was I here? Were the Itex Whitecoats putting me under some sort of test? Or was this still my dream? The curious part of me—I was surprised it hadn't been killed—wanted to check things out. So I pulled my quilt off and tried to stand.

Of course it was been about a year since I had done that, so I was clumsy, but I managed. The door was not looked, and I opened it carefully. I couldn't see anyone in the hall so I eased out and closed the door behind me, then made my way toward the kitchen.

And there they were, five kids, and one dog, all with wings, sitting around the table. _My Flock! My Flock!_ I celebrated silently. _This is a dream, I __will__ wake up_ I had to remind myself. The smallest turned around when she heard me.

She had long blond curly hair and baby blue eyes. _Angel!_ Her white wings had grown, just like the rest of her. She was almost unrecognizable, except for the wings. _Two years…_ She smiled at me and ran toward me.

"Max!" she hugged me tightly. I stiffened in response, which she didn't seem to sense. "Oh Max, I missed you so much!"

"Angel…" Fang warned in a low voice, he now stood beside her. He directed for her to move away but kept his eyes firmly on me.

"Are you still dreaming?" he asked me.

I reverted my gaze quickly.

"Of course" I whispered. "If I wasn't dreaming, you'd be dead, and I would be in a padded cell, wishing I was too."

He flinched and opened his mouth to say something but closed it. I could see his eyes flashing, looking for something he could say to make this all better. It was no use. As far as I could tell, Maximum Ride was dead. So if this wasn't a dream, he was just wasting his time.

"Max," Angel said to me "Ask the question that's in your head."

I shook my head.

"Ask it."

I sighed and looked at Fang when I opened my mouth.

"If, and I'm saying if this not a dream" he looked as though he was about to argue that but I put up my finger and raised my voice angrily "Then why did you taking you TWO DAMN YEARS to come and get 

me? Did you forget about me, huh? Is that it, or were you too F-ing Lazy to want to come and rescue me? I spent TWO YEARS thinking that I had lost all that I ever loved. They had to put me in a padded cell and a straight-jacket because I kept trying to kill myself to be with you guys. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep unless I was put on Lithium. Every F-ing day was agony, worse than any physical wound I've ever felt. I went through worse than death. Death would have been something to end the suffering. So yes, I hope to God that I'm dreaming, so I can know that you didn't actually put me through all that!!"

My flock looked at me, expressions ranging from horror, to guilt, to pity, to agony. I glared icily at them all.

"Max…" Angel whimpered, and I felt a twinge of guilt myself for going off like this on her. Fang perhaps, but not Angel. She would never deserve something like this. I looked at her and kept my gaze empty.

_I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry baby_ I kept chanting in my head like a mantra, hoping she was reading my mind. So she, ignoring Fang's orders came and hugged me. I returned her hug and dropped on my knees. And suddenly she and Nudge were comforting _me_. I was horrified to see tears spilling down my face and I quickly wiped them away, the old Max beginning to return.

If this was a dream, I was going to live it up, no matter the pain. It was well worth it.

And I was going to send the bastards who caused me and my Flock all this pain straight to Hell.


	4. Chapter Four

**Thank you to my inspiration, My Chemical Romance's 'I'm not okay (I promise)'. And I thank my four closest friends, without them, I would be in a small padded cell next to Max. I love you guys (you know who you are.)**

**Enjoy.**

**--**

"Can I have a moment alone?" I asked Angel and Nudge. They nodded and released me, and then I went back to Dr. Martinez's room, and stifled my screams with a pillow.

I lay on the bed for awhile, trying to swim through the rip tide of agony that was pulling me under. As the torrent of pain began to subside, I heard the door open.

I pulled myself into a sitting position and attempted to put on a façade of humanness. If Angel of Nudge or someone came in, I had to be strong, for them.

It was Fang. As he closed the door behind him, my pretenses began to slip and he saw my struggle to regain control. He came to me and wrapped his arms around me, silently holding me together.

_I hate being weak! I loathe it!_ But Fang's arms were comforting, supporting. Maximum Ride was still iced over, frozen in pain, but his arms were defrosting her, bringing her closer to the surface. He was what I needed. We both knew I would never be quite the same again, but I knew that my flock, my family would still accept me as I was without stopping to think about it. They would take me, broken and defiled. I looked up at Fang, and he returned my gaze.

"I'm not dreaming" I murmured.

"I'm glad you finally came to that solution" he said, mindlessly playing with a lock of my hair.

"You look so different" I said suddenly.

"Two years will do that to a person."

"I feel like I don't know you" I admitted.

"I'm still the same Fang from two years ago, on the inside." I nodded.

"You look different too."

"I wouldn't know" I responded "I haven't seen a mirror in two years."

"Seriously? Wow." Then he pulled me off the bed and dragged me down the hall to the bathroom, where there was a full-length mirror. He shut the door and came to stand beside me, waiting for my response.

My hair had grown a lot; it was now mid back and wavy. It was light brown, with streaks of blond intertwined. My eyes were a brown chocolate color and my skin was ivory from not being in the sun for two years. I had lost all my baby fat and my face had a certain sharpness to it. Now that I was sixteen my body had become more defined. My hips were wider, though my abdomen was still very thin and lightly covered with muscles. I had full breasts, though not enough to get in the way during a fight. I was taller now, maybe 5'8 or 5'9, though Fang was still taller.

But my face, around the eyes especially, you could see the damage. I didn't look quite human, and that hurt me, a lot.

I turned away from the mirror; I couldn't take it any longer. Fang silently grabbed my hand and led me back out.


	5. Chapter Five

_Chapter five_

He led me back to the room I had been in earlier. I sat silently on the bed and he came to rest beside me.

"Who was she?" I asked myself out loud.

"Who?" Fang asked me.

"Max. I don't know her. I can sense her there, but she's frozen. I know you are, and Angel and the Flock but not myself. Who am I?"

"You're still Maximum Ride. You are still the one who loves leading us, and kicking Flyboy ass, and cute shoes." He grinned at the last part. I attempted a smile too but it came out as a twisted grimace.

"Why didn't you come for me?" I asked in a small voice that was overflowing with sadness.

"We tried Max, we really did" his voice was pleading, agonized. "We were in a comatose state from the fall for about four months. After our legs had healed enough we took the ground searching for you. And finally when the strength in our wings had been regained, we took the air. We searched the entire globe, but every lead we found was a dead end. Until now, of course. We fell near Lake Erie, you remember?" I nodded. "Do you know where you are at right now?"

"No."

"Max, we are about 50 miles away from the Great Wall."

"In China?"

"I believe that would be the only Great Wall. Do you remember when we were captured by that weird Gorgon thing and the UD told us that China wanted to use us as a super weapon?" I nodded again. "Well they went after us again in the attempt to use you as weapon. But when we 'died' and you remained unresponsive, they got angry. And they began testing on you and recreating others like us."

"You mean like Max II?" I sighed.

"No, more like Max 2.0."

I glanced up at him. He wore an anxious expression.

"What do you mean?"

"They have combined our abilities—all of them—and graphed them into a human with avian and some sort of feline DNA."

"Did you get a good look at her?"

"No. And Max, it's a him."

"Well that'll make it all the more fun to kick his ass" I said, regaining some of Max's attributes. "There's just one thing."

"What?"

"Well, two things."

"Okay tell me."

"I forgot how to fight."

"You forgot how to FIGHT?! Max, how can you forget something as important as fighting?!"

"Well, thinking you were dead I didn't feel that I was going to need something like that anymore, and I haven't moved in two years, so how was I supposed to keep my skills sharp?"

"I dunno, beat the guards around a bit?"

"I didn't have the will to" I said looking down again. I heard him sigh.

"Alright, what's the second thing?" he asked. I was afraid to answer because I knew he was not going to like it. I shook my head.

"What is it Max?"

"I forgot how to fly."


	6. Chapter Six

**Inspiration: 'Ready Set Go' by Tokio Hotel**

Chapter six

Well Fang was pissed. And I almost couldn't blame him. This was going to drag things back awhile. I said almost. It's not my fault that I thought they were dead and didn't move much. Jeez. The old Max would probably want to tell him not to get his boxers in a twist. I just flinched and apologized a lot. Yeah, it's pathetic, isn't it?

The first day I opened my wings was amazing. They were a full eighteen feet across. But boy were they sore. I guess that's what I get for not moving for a couple of years. Now I could kick myself for it, which would not help the pain.

Slowly I felt Maximum Ride returning. She was still separated from me, and I could truly empathize with somebody with Split-Personality Disorder now. Uber-creepy is correct.

After about a week or two I remembered basic flying and figured the rest would come back to me.

As for fighting… well that's a whole different story.

Sparring matches were interesting. I started off fighting Nudge. And I sucked. At least Nudge was happy that she got to beat me. A lot.

After a few days I finally beat Nudge. And then I had to fight Iggy. Normally people would think that fighting a blind guy would be easy and cruel. Oh no… quite the opposite actually. He had me pinned in five seconds—and I was trying my best.

Fighting different people I learned a lot of new tricks and how to change my fighting style depending on who I was fighting.

And even though everyone agreed it would be a good learning experience for me, I could not fight Angel. They said it would be hard with her being able to read minds and that I should try to fight her mind control. But I couldn't bear to fight my baby. What if she got hurt? I couldn't look at her like a target.

It was the fighting matches with Fang that I dreaded. Max cursed at me to not screw this up. I shouldn't look like an idiot to Fang. I wanted to know what it mattered; he had watched my other matches, which were quite embarrassing. Yet for some unknown reason it mattered to her. So I tried to care.

He did this retarded Keanu-Reeves-Matrix thing when he beckoned me forward with one hand. I tried not to laugh because Max was yelling at me to concentrate. I ran toward him and as he went to strike me, I opened my wings enough to jump over him. Then he grabbed me leg and pulled me back down, and I fell to the ground with a resounding thud.

"You have much to learn grasshopper" he said, walking away. I used that moment to swing my leg and I hit him behind his knees. He fell to the ground. I jumped on top of him, pinning him down.

"You were saying?" I grinned at him.

"I was saying…" he paused and looked around, then beckoned me closer. I leaned forward. He put his mouth beside my ear "that you shouldn't let your guard down."

I was suddenly flying through the air. He had managed to kick me off of him when my balance was off-centered from leaning forward. Damn he was good at this.

_Come on Max, help me out. Got any hints?_ I asked.

_Yeah, one idea—let me fight._ She responded.

_How?_

_Merge or something, I dunno. Just give me some control here._

_I'm not a puppet._ I said

_And I am? _Maximum replied.

_Fine, Fine_ I told her. I looked for some way to do so. I counted to three and totally relaxed, at the same time that Maximum pushed against the invisible force restraining her. My hand moved. I didn't do it, but I could feel it. I tried to move my hand and it did so easily. I smiled.

_Okay Maximum, Go ahead. Kick his ass._

_Happy to._

Fang had thrown us back at least twenty feet. We landed gracefully, thanks to Maximum's skills. She jumped up and spread her wings to send her quickly toward Fang. We dropped down and threw a punch at him with perfect accuracy. He dodged it and moved so he was in range for our roundhouse kick. It sent him spiraling to the ground ten feet back. He got up confused, but ran at us all the same. I used a trick I had learned from Nudge a few days back. As he ran at me I jumped and pushed his head down, jumping over him. As he went below me I kicked him in the butt, throwing him off-balance and causing him to fall. As he did so he spun around and kicked me down too.

Maximum pushed back with her hand to leap back up to standing position. She didn't notice that Fang was throwing a punch at us and I pulled us out of the way. Maximum threw a punch back at him, which he deflected. Every kick and punch was evenly matched and blocked. But Maximum had a plan in the back of our head that she would never use. But I would.

I overextended a punch and Fang grabbed my arm in a split second and had me pinned against the tree.

_What're you doing?! _Maximum demanded.

_I'm taking a chance. I'm doing something you where too afraid to._

_NO!_

I ignored her and proceeded with her plan.

"Got you" Fang said, smiling.

"Na ah. I got you." He looked at me questioningly. Maximum was fighting against what I was about to do. Oh well.

I pressed my lips against his and kissed him with Maximum's old passion. He loosened his grip for a second and I switched our positions—so he was pinned against the wall. I let Maximum have complete control. She began to let go of Fang but stopped. Fang looked at her.

When they were younger she would always run from him. What about now? Fang was one of the few things she had left to hold onto. Would she run from that?

Maximum Ride smiled back at Fang and leaned back toward Fang. He picked up the hint and leaned forward pressing his lips against hers.

I felt myself fading.

_Goodbye Maximum Ride._

_What? You're leaving?_

_There's no reason to stay. You don't need me anymore. I was just a wall of protection. So you could block out some of the pain, so you could block out reality. You have Fang to hold onto now. He can protect you._

_Thank you._

I smiled a faint echo of a smile—all that I was capable of.

_Anytime._


End file.
